Awake

First day back in the US, back in my own bed, in my own home- that has 4 walls and a strong roof.  It is hard to explain being back.  it is nice to be home yet my heart breaks at the same time.  As i try to work through all that I have seen and learned this past week, I am also struggling with the fear of returning to "normal." It will be so easy to get caught right back up in the business of life- work, errands, paying bills, not making time for God, not connecting with Jesus, not listening to the Holy Spirit.  Before haiti i was going 90 miles an hour and my walk with Christ was suffering.  I was desensitized to all the blessings around me.  i was sleep-walking through life.  In Haiti I was awake!  I began each day with the Lord, i ended each day with the Lord and saw Him moving everywhere around me throughout my day.  how could anyone sleep through that?  It was beautiful and overwhelming and peaceful.  Today i cried because I do not want to fall asleep again.  I need to find a way to stay awake in this world too.  After all God is the God of haiti and of Brookfield.  But haiti was a glimpse of heaven for me- to be connected with Jesus and with my brothers and sisters serving Him daily.  We would pray on the rooftop every morning looking over the city and His creation, feeling the sun warming our faces.  Today I prayed from my room but still felt the presence of God assuring me that even in my bed in Brookfield, IL USA- in my heart and in His eyes I am shoutingout his name and from the rooftop I am proclaiming that I am His!