Passion In The Pain

Sitting thousands of feet above ground level can lead one to think until your mind grows numb.  And so it is I sit here, engaged with a land so foreign to me and yet a culture so familiar and comfortable to me.  Haiti, a land with beautiful people and a rich culture that I had forgotten of my deep love for…I was reminded yet again this last week.  During our last few nights while in Haiti, team members began to speak of their worry regarding how to process all that we had seen, heard, and experienced.  It wasn’t until while in the shower this morning that everything began to hit me, reality began to sink in.

I can still hear the beautiful voices of the Haitians singing with such jubilant joy that one is left in awe of their great praise to God in the midst of such unfavorable circumstances.  I can still see the faces of the children, smiles beaming with a hope that seems near impossible amidst the mounds and mounds of rubble.  I have so many unanswered questions, such emotional highs and lows.  I am excited at what lies ahead for the people of Haiti, and yet my heart breaks for the people today.  I don’t know what my response should be, words fail me yet again.

I have been working through the book of Job lately.  I am stunned at what I have been reading, God proving yet again the absolute weakness and frailty of my flesh.  I have always loved worshipping God, it has never been a “struggle” per se of mine.  One might say it’s my “happy place.”  But as I have continued to read in Job and looked at the life he lived, I realize I may have had it wrong all along.  Time and time again Job loses out on something, something huge.  Be it his flock or crop or even his own children, Job seemingly loses everything but the very breath of his lungs.  And in the midst of such deep loss and despair, Job worships God.  It never speaks of Job going through a depression or taking a break from fellowshipping with God.  But his immediate response to the loss of income, property, family, health, and fellowship…is to worship.

The church in Haiti?  In the face of rampant crime, extreme poverty, crumbled buildings, death and sickness all too common, and daily turmoil of life in this land?  They worship.  I find a beautiful parallel with the life of Job and the church of Haiti.  So what does my response look like?  I have much to learn from both worlds.  So as I process and begin to work through some of these things I have seen and experienced, I choose to worship.  Not because I necessarily feel like it or because it would make sense in my finite mind to do so, but just because my God is worthy.  Yes, He is still good and reigns victoriously on His throne.  So on behalf of children sleeping on the streets tonight in Haiti, I will worship.  On behalf of women selling themselves desperate to earn a little money for some food, I will worship.  On behalf of orphans left abandoned in city dumps in Haiti, wondering if they will ever be loved, I will worship.  Oh that the worshipers would arise and worship our God in spirit and truth, the rocks are crying out in our place…and the world continues to wait.